Hearing the (POSITIVE) news!
Looking at a positive pregnancy test after several of my doctors continuously telling me “you are unable to get pregnant” is a pretty big surprise. I work as a medical assistant and perform plenty of pregnancy test for my patients each and everyday, NEVER did I think I would eventually be the patient!
Before I Begin let me rewind…
SO heres the deal… I have something called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). Which is a hormonal disorder causing enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges. Which make it very difficult to conceive. Many women may have it a bit more severe than others, mine? Well it was pretty bad, Lucky me 🙂 I don’t know if any of you have ever experienced a cyst burst around your cycle? If you have, imagine 4 bursting at a time. Yeah, it feels like a monster is inside your stomach ripping all your intestines apart. NOT FUN! I never got my period and never thought anything about it, I honestly thought I was just the “Chosen One”. Finally I seen an OBGYN and got myself checked out and was told the news “You are going to have a hard time getting pregnant”.
Before this? I never thought about children. I never wanted children. THEY TERRIFIED ME. I was certain that I was never going to have ANY children. I thought, well I could barely be responsible for myself now… There is no way I could be responsible for a little person. Then I was told that I may not be able to have any children, even if I wanted to. Now that was an eye opener. Doctors told me that if I started young then I would have a better chance rather than if I started later in life. I figured, well I am 22, I already purchased a home with my high school sweetheart and have a career, well hell lets give it a shot. 7 months later down the road I was at work complaining about my boobs being sore.
So with PCOS I never got my period but every month I would get the symptoms and cravings for chocolate. SO my boobs being sore was never a concern to me but it was for my coworker who heard me complaining.
This is how our conversation went:
Coworker- “Kim lets do a pregnancy test”
Me- *Sigh* “I am not pregnant, my boobs hurt all the time” Lol
Coworker- “So then why are you scared? Lets do one, just cause”
Me- *SIGH* “ok.Sure.”
5 Minutes later…
She comes from down the hall and says “you’re not pregnant” (Forgets to throw out the pregnancy test)
2 HOURS LATER…
She comes running down the hall “NEVER MIND YOU’RE PREGNANT!!”
I literally looked at her and started laughing. I mean, 2 hours passed ?? What are you talking about? I mean thats impossible… right?
Well apparently it was very much POSSIBLE. My HCG level was so low that the test took much much much longer to show a positive FAINT line. THE LINE WAS SO FAINT, I was sure there was an error. 7 Pregnancy test later, 2 blood test and 3 more pregnancy test: I was for sure pregnant. Maybe like 5 minutes pregnant, but definitley pregnant lol
I stared at the test for several minutes and still couldn’t believe it. ALL the evidence was right in front of me. I was the girl in school who was NEVER going to have kids. There was just no convincing me. I have played so many “oh, I’m pregnant jokes” on my spouse that he didn’t even believe me.
There was so many mixed emotions, that I cried for hours but not because I didn’t want the baby but because I was scared that I wasn’t going to be a good mom. “Fear is only as deep as the mind allows” – Japanese Proverb