How to make sure your relationship stays on fire now that you are parents!
Oh, here’s a hot and spicy one for you. Romance is pretty much everywhere. More often than we tend to realize because we are so “busy”. Whatever “busy” means.
However, when you have a child everything and I mean EVERYTHING CHANGES. No matter how hard you try to keep everything the same you might as well just accept the fact that things are different and adjust.
You sometimes get so caught up with your child that you forget about your significant other and that’s ok it happens. This new baby is literally your world and you want to soak up every moment, sometimes you are scared to blink because you are afraid of missing a milestone. I am here to tell you that not all hope is lost. There’s still time to set that relationship on fire!
Tip #1 love, love, love
Pretty basic don’t you think? Just love him/her! When I say this I mean don’t forget about the little things even though now you both share a little one. Little things like making dinner for each other. Rubbing each other back. A simple foot rub would be nice from time to time. Always kiss goodbye and goodnight! Hug them randomly and tell them that you love them! These little, tiny, small things make such a huge difference.
Tip #2 Remember that you are in this TOGETHER
there is no “you” anymore. Especially not with a little one to take care of. Children soak up all of your energy and time. Try not to let ONE parent “take care” of everything because even though it may look like they have it all under control I am pretty sure he/she could really use a break. It is exhausting to do it on your own. Take it from me! I was always trying to be super mom and I wanted no help because I felt like I was helping my significant other. When in reality I was stressing myself out to the point where I pushed my self into depression. I am a full-time mom who works a full-time job and so does Giovanni’s father. We are both tired when we get out of work but we can’t stop because our baby needs us. Helping each other will help you get things done quicker, relieve stress off each other and will help appreciate the time you spend as a family.
Tip #3 date night
Yes, date night is still very much a thing! So ask a friend or a family member to watch the baby for a couple of hours and go out with your better half alone. Yes. Alone. WITH NO BABY! I promise you will survive. You are doing such a great job as parents that you need a break to enjoy each other. Breastfeeding on the couch while you are watching him play fortnite is not “spending quality time” together. Go out to dinner and a movie. Go rollerblading! Go out just for dinner, who cares just go out together and make sure to enjoy each other. It’s a reminder that you guys aren’t JUST parents but you are also partners. You two being happy is actually really important for the babies nature.
Tip #4 what you have truly been waiting for… HAVE SEX !
So this is a whole lot easier said than done. After giving birth to my son I absolutely hated my body! This body was new, it had marks and cellulite. This body had a scar under my belly. This body is not the body I was used to. So I refrained from having sex because I felt like a whale. My husband was a nice buff shark and I was a dam whale washed up on shore. Though he made an effort to remind me that this was temporary and that I was beautiful regardless I didn’t believe him. We almost lost our spark. I started to learn how to love my body and that if I wanted to make a difference then I would have to make a change. I learned that I literally just did one of the most powerful things a human could do in this world and that was to create another human being. You should initiate the sex. The best time is when the baby is sleeping, honestly, that’s probably your only time! So chop chop ! Flirt with your better half, flirting should never stop between the both of you because it shows just how attracted you still are to each other. Try “new things”. Now I am not telling you to go all 50 Shades on them but do things differently than you both have thought about trying and never tried before. When you are having sex, remember this is not a “bang it out in the club bathroom, I have like 5 minutes” deal. This is not “homework”. This not just to please the other person. Make sure you are both in the same page. Enjoy having the sex with each other! Don’t rush it, let it take its course. Do it all over your house, I don’t care just make sure you are having fun with each other!
Having a child does not necessarily mean that you have to stop your life, it means that you have to adjust it accordingly so that your child is now included.
Remember that no relationship is “perfect” but that’s ok. Who cares! Just know that there are plenty of ways to keep the flame going.
Have a lovely day Mombies🌻